Lisa Barr:, Editor of GIRLilla Warfare: The “Homecoming 2013: Lookout — Alpha Moms Have Invaded High School” by GW’s “Teen Expert” Debby Shulman (GW, Sept. 17) was our most widely read blog since the inception of GIRLilla Warfare in May of 2012. This is followed up by a blog on when your kid is being left out — issues that cut right to our core. It is THE reason why I launched GW in the first place — to expose what hurts and to collectively make changes. Debby and I were bombarded by the overwhelming response to this blog by parents everywhere, and felt it needed to be taken one step further — Have at it, Debs …
By Debby Shulman
We are fully aware that this hot topic has many parents talking and we feel that’s the best place to hopefully create change.
If this were a John Hughes’ movie, our underdogs would have won.
They would have walked across the football field, fist raised to the sky. “She” would have skirted across the dance floor, dressed in pink and embraced her heartthrob with lips locked. And “he” would have found the voice to tell his father that HE was more important than the red Ferrari that lay in the ravine below his house.
It feels good when the right person wins.
So, I challenge our readers to take a stand. Take back your child’s night and give it back to them.
Make that dance their own and challenge your closest friends to support you. Together, your voices will be heard. If you know your child is in a group that has excluded others, I CHALLENGE you to do the right thing. If you know your child is feeling sorry for those boys he has been told “cannot join” — then I CHALLENGE you to leave your group and form another one that includes everyone. And if your Queen Bee, Alpha Mom takes issue with your independence, then I CHALLENGE you to tell her why you are leaving. Even Regina George got it at the end … the Mean Girls will not win UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM THE POWER.
And are you ready to take it back?
For the sake of your teens, who are watching closely, and for those being hurt by others, what do you have to lose?
Don’t you ever wonder what could be if we took it upon ourselves to actually call out bad behavior?
Speaking up or refusing to let your child be a part of something mean-spirited speaks volumes about your integrity and character … and really, after all this horrible behavior, is there any other way to make it right?
I challenge anyone that was moved by the comments that followed this blog, to act and give your kids the chance to plan their own night. Let them include their friends and their friends and their friends — even if it means there are way too many happy, laughing, screaming teenagers.
Do NOT let anyone get left out of a sleepover, a meal or a picture. Come on people — Speak Up.
Your kids will hear you.
LB: Debby Shulman is a college essay consultant and academic tutor with a private practice in Northbrook, Illinois. She also professionally collaborates with Amy Simon College Consulting in Bannockburn, Illinois. Debby also blogs about Motherhood/Teen issues for Your Teen magazine (www.yourteenmag.com). Check out her valuable advice.