By Lisa Barr
Here’s our New Year’s gift to you: Leave yourself alone. Stop beating yourself up, thinking: I should have, I could have, If only … Stop thinking you NEED to do better, be better, look better. You are enough. You have always been enough — and that is our GIRLilla Warfare motto. Don’t mess with us.
Make 2014 a Screw Resolutions Year. Instead focus on four goals.
GIVE. LIVE. LOVE. LAUGH.
And there you have it.
We are all a work-in-progress, as Women, Moms, Wives, Professionals, Daughters, and Friends. So you need to lose five pounds? Okay, do what you love to do to get there — NOT what you hate. Is it a long walk while talking on the cell phone? Have at it, and I promise those “extras” will burn off while you are catching up with your best bud. (Note: Only make calls to those with whom you WANT to speak, not HAVE to speak while exercising — why be punished twice!)
So you need to stop yelling at your kids — all the drama killing you? Okay, PAUSE before you go ape-shit, and it ALWAYS takes it down a notch. If you take a few breaths before you let loose, your tone WILL change, and your words will have more impact, and so will you. Most importantly, you won’t feel bad later for going “overboard.”
So you would like more intimacy and romance? Okay, start simple, and take HIS hand, and I promise he will grasp yours even tighter. The key is to find at least ONE thing you two love to do together (ours is coffee and cardio-boxing — we grab coffee, and then box together on Saturdays)– and it’s all kinda sexy and we both feel great TOGETHER afterward.
So you have time on your hands now that the kids are getting older, and would like to do something for YOU — but you’re not sure what that is. First, take off the pressure, and second make the process fun. Grab coffee or a glass of wine — and say, NOW it’s my time, what do I really want and what am I good at? (Note: stick to the positives). For example if the top three things on your list are: fashion, working with people BUT you want to only work part-time. From there, you will narrow it down and find IT. The goal is not to say, at this stage what do I really have to offer? Instead, the goal is to say Wow, at this stage, this is what I CAN offer.
Okay, so you want to be a better friend, yet who has the time? Note to self: Get rid of the time sucks. Knock out all the toxic people in your life (if you can), or if you can’t (because they happen to be related to you) then at least keep them to a minimum in your DAILY life, and pick the select few who make you laugh, make you happy, who truly want good things for you, and have your back. Make more time for them (less for the haters), and I promise it will make “time” itself so much more enjoyable and meaningful.
And this is the key –Give yourself more of what you really need. Resolutions usually take away something and remind you that you are not (doing) enough.
End of old story, beginning of a new chapter …
So Happy, Happy New Year, My Friends. THIS year, it’s all about bringing out the best in you; the best that’s been in there all along. And as for the tough stuff … 2014 is another year that you You, Me And Our Girlfriend Next Door will get through it together. xoxo LB< back