GIRLilla Warfare’s 2015 “Top 10” IN & OUT List

By Arden Edelcup (aka: “The Beauty Babe”)

From the explosion of Tinder Hookups to Kim Kardashian’s tabletop-sized butt, 2014 was truly a roller-coaster ride of seriously wacky pop culture and beauty trends. As the self-proclaimed yenta on all things trendy, I have consulted with my posse of experts to compile my Second Annual Beauty Babe’s IN & OUT List for 2015.

1. Competitive “Alpha” Yoga is So OUT, Authentic Mindful Yoga is IN. Full disclosure here … I have never taken a yoga class. This is due to my inability to touch my toes and the paralyzing fear of being judged by the great yogi masters and their starry-eyed pretzel twisted disciples. However, I have tremendous respect for my friends, whose kick-ass bodies have literally defied the gravitational forces of aging because of their devotion to this beautiful ancient practice. Yet somehow for some of my Namaste-loving sisters, yoga has also become a high-school competition for head cheerleader. I have listened as these devotees engage in snarky discussions on the superior methods, hottest (literally) studios, and sub-standard instructors. While I don’t know a Downward Dog from a barking one, I can assume that this type of competition is no way to become a Zen Master of Peace. Let’s make 2015 the year of embracing the real purpose of yoga which is “mindfulness and spirituality.”

2. “Technology Rudeness’ is OUT, Human Connection is IN. This may not yet be a trend, but I am hoping that 2015 is the year that we boogie on back to the lost art of face-to-face conversations. Flash back to 2004 into the Dark Ages of Technology. My favorite part of peddling cosmetics was the fun of “kibbitzing” with my customers for a few minutes before I escorted them to the lip gloss aisle. Sadly, many of those same customers are now often disturbed by my mere presence. When I ask if they need assistance, I am often dismissed with an irritated wave for interrupting their phone conversations. And while I make a conscious effort not to yak on the phone at stores, I am also guilty of it when I am at the Starbucks drive-thru. I toss in my credit card mindlessly while gabbing away in my car. Seriously, why does each moment of our lives need to be crammed with so much? Did our mothers actually go grocery shopping WITHOUT simultaneously coordinating a complicated soccer carpool in the frozen food aisle? How about we make a 2015 communal commitment to LIVE IN THE MOMENT and actually interact with those who are looking right at us? It may be tough to silence those iPhones for the few moments each day that we are interacting with actual humans. We may be surprised by how much we now miss actual connection.

3. Helicopter Mama Bears are OUT, teaching your kiddies the “Blessing of a Skinned Knee” is IN. It is so painful to watch our kids make dumb mistakes. Worse yet, is watching them suffer the unfortunate consequences that will undoubtedly follow that dopey behavior. I remember my daughter going to college with a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet. Yes, most of her hair broke off at the nape of her neck and some remained long just like a 1980’s mullet. This unfortunate hairstyle was the direct result of her “flat iron addiction”. I repeatedly warned her and, I even made a desperate attempt to hide the offending hair tool. Now here is the embarrassing revelation: After the thing that I warned her would happen did indeed happen, I immediately sprung into action to fix it. When I reluctantly realized that I could not magically glue back her beautiful locks, I was willing to cash in my 401K and gladly hand it over to ANYONE who could. Well that shit all ended when my hubby firmly said, “Hair grows and so will she if YOU let her.” Ouch, I hate it when he is right! This year, let’s make a valiant effort to allow our kids to make the same type of comically bad decisions we all once made. Then when they fall down, let’s also have a little faith that they will get right back up again. In our frenzy to over-protect them, we may actually be the ones causing the most harm.

4. Big Bushy Brows are In, Pencil-Thin Eyebrows are OUT. I have seen this trend for a while with the surge of eyebrow growth serums on the market (Nutraluxe Brow is one to try). The good news for the legions of us over-pluckers is that there is a fabulous array of brow powders, pencils and gels, which can fill in those gaps and help you achieve a natural-looking full brow look. Not surprisingly, very, very long lush eyelashes are also very IN. Going hand-in-hand with the thick brow trend, spikey long lashes that flutter in the wind is all the rage. The good news is that you can get this look with a few coats of a thickening mascara and inexpensive false eyelashes. For those of you with a bigger budget, individual eyelash extensions ($250-$300 for first application and monthly fills for $100) allow you to roll out of bed with supremely long lashes. Both options ultimately give you the same sexy appeal that you can bat your eyes at.

5. Fifty Shades of Grey is OUT, The Affair is IN. This titillating Showtime series portrays an illicit affair between a relatable “middle-aged super hot dad with four kids and a loving wife in the midst of a mid-life crisis and a “grieving (yet alluring) young woman in a seaside town”. What makes this show so damn addictive is that it is told from both perspectives of these characters and it has a murder mystery tossed in as well. Observing their differing perspectives on their affair is really what makes this show fascinating to watch and makes for some interesting debate between the sexes on who to believe in matters of the heart and deception.

6. Egg whites ARE OUT, Yolks are IN. Those poor egg yolks are finally getting their respect. “The egg white omelet in PAM” has been denying yolks rightful place inside an omelet for decades. Why? Because the yolk was the demon with the nasty CALORIES  (actually only 55).  This year, the Mayo Clinic and our favorite fitness guru, Jillian Michaels, have spoken up in staunch support of the nutritional value of the yolk.  Let’s finally leave our teenage “dieting” habits back in the high school lunchroom and order ourselves a big fat fluffy cheese omelet!  While we are on the subject of food, gluten still remains the bad guy on the block while Quinoa is the new IT girl. This super grain has been anointed the healthiest food on the planet, but does anyone know how to pronounce it?

7. Bedroom BLAH is OUT.. Adding some SPICE Is IN.  This is the year to remember the heat you once had and make it even hotter. Technology makes it almost effortless to turn him on when he least expects it. Research proves that sexting a few “hot” words and a lusty emoji (why not toss in a sexy pic) to your guy during the day, can lead to much more sizzling night.

8. Assault on Women is Out, Female Empowerment is IN. In 2014, the media reports overflowed with gut-wrenching reports of sexual assaults ranging from the NFL, to college campuses and the entertainment industry. It was truly the year that broke open the floodgates to reveal women’s astounding vulnerability. New words and phrases appeared like “Ray Ricing” (to punch your woman in the face) and “Rape Culture” on college campuses. Sadly, even the sexual assault allegations pouring in against Bill Cosby were decades old. This unleashed a long overdue public conversation on fear, shame, and intimidation. The good news is that we are taking back the power and demanding change! California already signed a new bill defining sexual consent on college campuses as “an affirmative, conscious and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity.” In other words, “Yes Means Fuck Me and No Means Fuck You.” These words should become the Female Mantra of 2015.

9. Intolerance is OUT, Gay Marriage is IN. Even if you are not a bleeding heart liberal, the trend toward tolerance and allowing families of all shapes and sizes to be truly recognized and protected by the law is something we can all embrace.

10. The Superpower of FRIENDSHIP is SO IN. As we travel through this often bumpy, yet always thrilling road of life, the one thing that remains true is the power of “Our Girls”. These are the ones who see all that you are, and love you just the same. As we usher in 2015 with long sloppy kisses and clanks of champagne glasses, let’s toast all that is changing yet relish what should always remain IN —  the power of love and friendship!

Happy New Year, Girlfriends!

Lisa Barr, Editor of GIRLilla Warfare: Arden Edelcup is a Mom of three “Indiana Hoosiers” and owner, with her hubby Earl Edelcup, of Ross’s in Highland Park, Illinois. Check out her website: www.rosscosmetic.com.

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