By Debby Shulman
Over the last few months, I have discussed interesting essay topics with my students applying to college. While I try and guide my students away from such topics as overnight camp and traveling to exotic places, I often have to stop and listen to a story that bears great personal significance. So, it came as a great surprise to me this past October, when two students from the same school told identical stories about the rampant cheating in their high school. Not only did they barely know each other, but also they had no idea that I was tutoring both of them. After a couple of weeks, I thought about what they had to say and asked them if I might share their stories with my readers.
I reached out to some students who are close family friends, and who also attend the same high school. Eager to share, they described the events in front of their own parents. They spared nothing; they were almost too happy to finally tell an adult. We were having this intense conversation in my girlfriend’s kitchen, and all of our kids were really involved in what was being said. I had no idea what a Pandora’s Box I had opened. So, in the interest of being fair, I asked several more students from local high schools, the same question:
Is the cheating in your high school above and beyond what you would consider to be normal?
Here’s the shocker: They told the truth (kind of a paradox when discussing cheating) — but they did.
One of my own kids admitted right away that yes, there had been ‘innocent’ cheating on random tests over the years and like my students, he knew of teens who had engaged in “serious cheating.” ACT’s and SAT’s, Prarie State, and of course, final exams. He even told a story about two siblings who resembled each other so much, the younger one took the ACT for the older one, allowing him to apply and ultimately be admitted to a college he might not ordinarily have attended. Urban legend? Toxic gossip? It doesn’t matter – the story was Out There, names and reputations damaged and in some capacity, elements of it portrayed the truth.
Some of my other students, who attend a very large, equally prestigious suburban high school echoed the sentiments of both my children and the other students I had spoken with.
Cheating is everywhere. It is enticing, and it is because the competition is SO stiff.
I guess the answers didn’t surprise me at all. And, I couldn’t very well reprimand or punish my own kids for telling the truth, right?
What has caused such a dramatic increase in this type of behavior? My personal guess is the pressure. Recent documentaries such as Vicki Abeles’s, “The Road to Nowhere” have highlighted the negative effects of too much academic pressure on our teens. Cheating seems to be another manifestation of the stress. I listened to sad stories of students pushing the limit, arguing with test proctors during college entrance exams and sharing answers via text messages. My students described angry classmates trying to manipulate teachers, throwing their weight around with threats of parental intervention in the hopes of intimidating them into a better grade. There was no shame – these students were obnoxious in their behavior because they felt entitled.
It was as if they had a right to that grade, even if it was earned by cheating.
The worst offenders, according to my students, are the most intelligent. They are the ones who have been born and bred for Ivy League educations with transcripts loaded with honors and AP courses. Their parents have multiple degrees, boast resumes of top-notch universities and remain legacies and donors to their alma mater. They are all so extraordinarily smart, but so insecure about climbing their way to the top, that they risk everything to cheat off of others in the hopes of at least matching or exceeding their competitive classmates.
I am reminded of the pressures I place on my own kids to excel academically, and wonder if this is what it leads them to do.
Are we creating a generation of dishonest students all in the interest of getting an A?
I feel that I have a decent perspective about what they are capable of doing compared to what is unattainable. But am I still creating unnecessary stress when it comes down to “cheat or not to cheat?”
I don’t know.
Students who feel compelled to chronically cheat no longer trust their own judgment. They seem to lack their own confidence and the behavior becomes addicting. It is a sad statement about their emotional limitations and feelings of self-worth. With so many other students watching in disbelief, they forfeit the respect and admiration they might otherwise have achieved by hard work and discipline.
Have YOU ever asked your teen, without fear of punishment, whether or not they’ve cheated? Do you think you know the answer you would get? Like me, I suspect you’ll think differently about the amount of pressure placed on those A’s.
Are your teen’s good grades an extension of YOU? Or are they an honest reflection of what they are capable of doing?
I have to believe that experiencing the despair of a bad grade earned honestly teaches a better lesson than the loss of integrity when getting someone else’s A.
What do you think?
Lisa Barr, Editor of GIRLilla Warfare: Debby Shulman is a college essay consultant and academic tutor with a private practice in Northbrook, Illinois. She also professionally collaborates with Amy Simon College Consulting in Bannockburn, Illinois. Debby also blogs about Motherhood/Teen issues for Your Teen magazine (www.yourteenmag.com). Check out her valuable advice.
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As a parent of a high school Senior, I hear there is some cheating that goes on. Students have asked my daughter if they could cheat off of her. I will tell you, cheating isnt easy. High school is hard. There wont be more than 6 students in the grade that attend and Ivy league college and guess what? If you as a parent didnt…. they probably got your genes and wont go either. Ivys go for kids in private or boarding school that run charities or businesses and have made a big difference in society, IN ADDITION TO STELLAR GRADES. Grades are just a component of the admission process. The test score matters in terms of where you apply, but doesnt qualify you an admission ticket in any way. You will know by 6th grade where your child may attend college. And if youve been doing their math homework for them thus far, and quizzing them every night and checking their homework off on their “to do” list. Good luck when they get to high school! You wont want the job. Cheating is a great risk. If they get caught, a suspension is on their record. BYEBYE college. Theres no reason to cheat. And its not easy. There is no such thing as negotiating a higher grade or raising that 79 to an 80. No way no how doesnt happen, cant happen wont happen. The days of everyone receiving a shiny trophy even when your team loses well… those days are over. The good news is…. hard work always pays off, and their is no sweeter success than one’s own.
Lisa Barr, Editor of GIRLilla Warfare — A reader sent this to me … thought I would share it:
“I watched the movie, “Race to Nowhere” and was so moved by it, I called the producers and asked to purchase a copy for home viewing. As a North Shore resident, I’m appalled, disgusted and greatly concerned what’s happening to our youth. The very scary reality is kids are learning to get ahead by ‘any means necessary.’ As a person who preaches integrity on a daily basis (practically) to my children, I find myself wanting to scream at these kids with their sense of excessive entitlement to everything! Thankfully, my 12 1/2 year old daughter hasn’t ‘gone over to the other side’ and may she never do so! I appreciate all the topics you address. I thoroughly enjoy your blog! Keep up the incredible writing and if you figure out how to solve the cheating scandal, please keep us informed!!!!!
@ Lisa Barr – great comment from a concerned parent who understands the complex dynamic that exists between cheating and parental pressure. The film is so critical to see and discuss and it will stay with you long afterwards. Her comment about getting ahead by “any means” resonates with all of us because we see it in school, sports and activities. Thanks for taking time to share those comments, Lis.
TY so much for this honest article. I have a daughter already in college and a son in high school. I had no idea this type of cheating went on.
I think SS is living in a fantasy world – or maybe she is being sarcastic and I just didn’t pick up on it. I know several people who have attended ivy league schools and none of them came from boarding or private schools or ran charities or businesses. In fact, my sister-in-law attended Harvard and neither one of her parents attended an ivy league school.
Of course there are students who cheat and there are students who don’t cheat. It is also a big risk, but we are talking about teenagers. They take big risks because they think they are invincible, and they won’t get caught.
I agree with Debby that there is so much pressure on these children to succeed that they will do almost anything to be seen as a success.
I’m in my 40’s – Maybe it’s just me, but I remember most of my friends cheating in high school. We didn’t do it to get into that Ivy league school. We just didn’t want to put in the effort to get the ‘A’ the honest way. Also, I didn’t have the confidence to try and get the ‘A’ the honest way. I am confident that times haven’t changed very much. The kids aren’t cheating because they are stressed out – they’re cheating because it’s easier than putting in the effort.