The Making of GIRLilla Warfare

So here I am about to blog. But if I’m going to blog, I told my closest peeps, I’m going to do it my way, with a strong dose of Old School. I’m going to write about things that matter.

Here are my stats: I’m a child of divorce, divorced adult, remarried, a mother of two and a step-mommy (three teenage daughters in all). I’ve got five younger siblings, a terrific extended family, a sometimes roller-coaster relationship with my parents (2 biological/2 steps), my grandfather is 101 (still handsome, still got it), and I happen to luck out with a wonderful mother-in-law. I am passionately in-love with my husband, although I can fight him like a mobster. He has actually broken four cell phones over me. As you get to know me, you will learn: I don’t back down, but I always apologize if I’m wrong. I never go to bed angry (something Ann Landers told me years ago during our interview). My life revolves around my daughters – but lately they seem to need me to back off (which kills me, but I was once there, I get it).

So why GIRLilla Warfare? And why, the suburban lifestyle focus? Truthfully, I never thought I would end up here, in the Land of Three-Car Garages. I always pictured myself as a foreign correspondent, living in different countries, lovers at various ports, on the run, always after the story. “Settling down” was code for sheer boredom (shoot me first). The thought of malls and manicures … don’t get me started.

GIRLilla Warfare is Girls-Night-Out crossed with Moms-Stuck-in-the-Carpool-Line. It is having each others’ backs, and taking on the back-stabbers.

And then it happened. I wanted a place for my kids to lay down their backpacks and call home. I wanted to wake up next to a guy I loved. I wanted to drive carpool, shop at Whole Foods, and get manicures (so I no longer had to hide my chipped fingernails into fists). I wanted to write while my kids were at school, have my morning Java Fix while seeing the same faces every day. I wanted a slice of “normal.”

Suburbia is a wonderful and difficult place to raise kids. Wonderful, because of the choices; difficult, because of the choices. Everything here is a double-edged sword. Seeming and being – what you see is not always what you get. And what you get is not always what you really want to see. There is money, but not necessarily happiness. There is romance, but in many cases trumped by resentment. There is lots of focus on body image, but not a whole lot of sex with your spouse. There is lots of love for your kids, but too much ‘tude and drama in return.

It was high time, I thought as I was concocting this idea, to speak up and discuss the deep-rooted problems here, and potential solutions. For better and for worse, GIRLilla Warfare is “Family Unplugged.”

This blog is Girls-Night-Out crossed with Moms-Stuck-in-the-Carpool-Line. It is about having each others’ backs, and taking on the back-stabbers. Many of the women here in the ‘burbs were once professionals who gave it all up to raise their kids and stay at home, many secretly wondering What the Hell Happened to Me? Many other women here still work and have to face the daily challenges of the Balancing Act (simply does not exist). Throw in a sick kid, and you’re screwed. Trust me, I’ve been there on both sides – Full-Time-Working-Mommy and
Stay-at-Home-Mommy. Contrary to popular belief, neither position is easier.

Suburban women love the quality of their lifestyle but hate the drama that comes with the territory. Yet somehow, through it all, we find ways to make it work. I’m going to explore it all with you and my panel of experts (no professionals – just Moms in the trenches, thank you).

I found three women in my town to represent my site. Alyssa Glantz (Mom of three), Stephanie Fontenot (Mom of three), Marnie Wilcox (Mom of two). When I shared the concept of GIRLilla Warfare with them, there was a resounding “Hell yeah.” They were not afraid to join me in opening those closed suburban doors. My kind of women.

None of this, however, could have come to fruition without my fabulous designer – Dave Stepen (Dad of 2 – and no stranger to Girl Drama himself). He is able to take my ideas and magically bring them to light.

Here’s to you – Alyssa, Marnie, Stephanie, and Dave … this round of Cabernet is on me.

Here’s to you – my beautiful family for allowing me to go the distance and pursue all of my dreams while being Mommy and “Permanent Girlfriend.”

Here’s to you – my readers – it’s all a journey, twists and turns, forks in the road, but I promise, together, we will get there … Thanks for joining my ride.

– LB